Yesterday I posted a little poem about the truly sacred place where many moms discipline their kiddies, the bathroom. Truth is, disciplining a child doesn’t usually look so “poetic”. At least not in my house, which is why I didn’t use the first person in my poem.
The poem was actually inspired by a difficult week that included more discipline than usual. I was growing weary. I was growing weary in my battles with my own heart to just want to manipulate their behavior, or to judge them self-righteously, to grow impatient, to give in to anger. I was growing weary with their resistance to correction, their repeated infractions after corrections, their trying to manipulate me. Poetry? no. not at all.
But at one point when one of my twins was doing what we do (sometimes this is hard fought for on both our parts), hug while he prays in repentance, the Holy Spirit helped open my eyes to the beauty of the moment. This boy is getting so big. I won’t be so intimately involved with his process of repentance. I will one day really miss the somewhat robotic, but childlike faith-filled prayers he prays with his arms around my neck. I marveled, for a moment, at the privilege I have every day to bring my little ones – who aren’t so little anymore – to the throne of grace. And it just struck me as funny that this process also happens on a “throne” in the bathroom.
ordinary mother 
When I say “sometimes this is hard fought for on both our parts” I mean that getting my child to a place of seeing his sin and confessing it is hard at times – some kids are faster than others. I don’t mean to say that our hugging is ever hard fought for…didn’t mean for it to sound like we have to fight to be affectionate. You know what I mean? just felt like I needed to clarify that without rewriting the post.
I have been having an unusually difficult week w/ discipline,too…on both ends. Today was the worst. Maybe there’s something in the atmosphere. I’m definitely fighting weariness…well, not really fighting anymore. I gave in today and it has borne no good fruit….imagine that?!
Yes there is something in the air here too….I always feel especially sinful becuase as I am correcting his sin, I realize that a lot of his disobedience stims directly from not getting enough of my attention, or not the appropriate attention. I struggle with wondering if that is beneficial discipline at all. When I lay on his bed and say I’m sorry as I have tears rolling down my face, my three year old looks at me with eyes of wisdom beyond my own and says “l love you mommy.”
In that moment I realize how God uses my weakness.