Recently, I had the privilege of writing over at the Sovereign Grace Pastors’ Wives’ blog on the topic of my relocating to Ohio. This article is a condensed (plus some new stuff) version of bits and pieces I have already written on the topic here (in Akron Adventure on the side bar). The following is a section I haven’t published on Ordinary Mother (til now).
Phase 1: Where you go I will go, but…
I’m a romantic. Not so much in the candles, roses, and soft music sense, but in the idealization of myself and unknown circumstances sense. I think back to our wedding day when I, the starry eyed bride, gazed into my groom’s eyes and vowed to him that I would go where he went. As a young couple we had dreamed together of being part of a church plant someday, and in that romantic moment in time I thrilled at the idea of being with Jason on an adventure to some unknown land. I would be brave and enthusiastic, a modern pioneer woman.
When the discussion over Jason leading a church in Ohio began, I can honestly say that God gave grace and faith to be willing to “go”. But I soon found that being willing to go and going are different things. Being willing to go means a meaningful conversation at Starbucks with my husband, seeing and hearing his dreams and vision for a new chapter in ministry, and sincerely wanting to be a part of making him a success – then telling him that anywhere he is, is home. Going means getting a house on the market which means being ready to show it at any moment while trying to homeschool four children. Going means packing a family of six and all of their accompanying stuff. Going means heart wrenching goodbyes and painful “last times”. Going means finding a new home to live in. Going means starting all over in so many ways. Going isn’t what that starry eyed bride pictured when she said, “where you go…” And I certainly wasn’t the brave adventurer I fantasized myself to be. But while I never factored in the hard realities of relocating, I also never factored in the astounding grace that would be most evident, not in my brave willingness to leave everything behind (though that is a huge act of grace, believe me), but in my weakness. Under my faltering steps of following my husband, I found the firm path of God’s grace. Where I slipped into worry over our future, God reminded me of His faithfulness in the past. Where I made life harder for Jason through grumbling or complaining, there was sweet relief in my Savior who perfectly obeyed without grumbling or complaining. When I was struggling with the pain of leaving ones I love so much, God reminded me that the pain was evidence of the goodness of His gifts to me in relationships and new gifts awaited me in a new place. The dreamy notions of “where you go…” proved to be nowhere near the difficult reality of those words. But the grace to “go” proved to be far more profound than any dreamy notions.
You can read the rest of part 1 here .