Akron Adventure

Relo #6: Being Not Seeming

Later single years.

Early motherhood.

Relocating.

All of these seasons in my life have one thing in common: learning lessons of being not seeming. It seemed like I was a content single girl…until I graduated from college with no potential for a husband in sight. It seemed like I was unselfishly serving the Lord through various ministries…until I was sleep deprived doing the 24/7 duties of motherhood where no human eyes really could see. It seemed like I was a woman of faith, willing to leave it all for my husband’s ministry, but ultimately for the sake of the gospel…until I woke up in Ohio on a Saturday realizing that I would normally be at my mom’s with Karyn and Ab while my kids played all day with their cousins. Seeming isn’t being. Writing about it isn’t doing it. Talking about it isn’t applying it.

I want my faith to be genuine. I want my submission to be sincere and lived in daily life. I want my heart to warm every time I say, “for the sake of the gospel.” I don’t want it to become a catch phrase. God knows this. He put this desire to “be” not just “seem” in my heart. And He created a perfect set of circumstances to deepen my devotion to the Savior, to the gospel, to others. Part of the plan is to expose where I am lacking. This is painful, and humbling. But I am so grateful for it. Along with the lessons of “being” not “seeming” are the lessons of the perfect, genuine righteousness of Another. When I see so many areas that I thought I was further along in, but really I just seemed to be that way, I take great relief (when I remember to) in casting myself on the mercy and grace of my Savior. And I honestly say, “do whatever You must do to make it genuinely all about You and not me.” I want to truly be about His glory, not just seem like I am.

Where in life is God teaching you the lesson of being not seeming?

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10 thoughts on “Relo #6: Being Not Seeming

  1. Excellent Laurie,

    I was able to apply this to my day today. Parenting, Laundry, the baking and the dishes. What a joy to pursue what the Lord has called us to;
    “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
    1 Cor. 10:31

  2. It seemed like I knew “the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Until the 13th week of our football season…the next Sunday came…Wayne walked out the door right after church saying, “I should be home before midnight.”

    I, too, long to be, not seem…to see Christ as glorious as He really is…as sufficient as He really is…as merciful as He really is…to believe that He is my all loving provider because He really is. His grace really is sufficient. His power really does display more in my weakness than in my strengths because the question gets answered, “Is God my highest treasure and my surest good when I am in need as when I am full?”

    Will that be enough for me today? Not just seeming…being. Thank you for this.

  3. Very convicting. I am going to have to really think and pray about this one.

    Thank you for laying yourself bare in such a way.

    as always, I love you!

    ❤ Karen

  4. I could just say “ditto” to all you wrote (and you know it b/c of the countless conversations we’ve had where it’s obvious GOd is revealing how far short I fall not only of my ideal but of His standard!).
    But, I must say that I’m grateful, like you, that God has not allowed me to delude myself in thinking I’m one of those competent girls. 🙂 IT has driven me to the cross where I have and continue to grow in appreciation for what was suffered there on my behalf. IT has given me a much deeper love and more genuine at that for my Savior. It is causing me, like you, to truly want to live for HIS glory and not just look like I am.

    To answer your question, though:
    1. moving to MD from PA where I was more of a small fish in a large pond rather than the other way around and folks weren’t as easy to impress as they were elsewhere.

    2. becoming a wife and seeing just what a disrespectful, unsubmissive, angry, wretch of a woman I really am (or can be) given the right mix of personalities and circumstances.

    3. becoming a mom to twins, one of whom has special medical needs coupled with a horrific nursing experience and the introduction of a less than healthy body.

    4.And, even…starting this Pampered CHef business (something I thought I’d just be perfect at) and having the reality of people not thinking I’m the best thing next to sliced bread smack me in the face. 🙂

    Oh, I could go on…this girl is one deluded chic, but being freed…I hope. 🙂

  5. So well said, Laurie, and you are in the midst of becoming that person you may “seem” to others more often than you may sense in your heart to be.

    I appreciate the

    “somewhere between seeming and being” that God gives us. It’s called bhe becoming. I can handle that. Seeming is hypocritical (as in, “you seem to be a very patient person” when inside you are saying, “Hurry up! Can’t you –!”
    while “being” smacks of having arrived. Whoa, I am definitely not there in way, shape, or form. Like the Casting Crowns song I love so much that says, “Somewhere in the middle you’ll find me.”

  6. I didn’t know if you’d see this on my blog, so I just wanted to say that I consider you mixing up my blog with Megan’s a complement, ha ha! Anyway, I knew you were thinking of her’s because I saw her library post. But thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll have to get it the next time we go to the library.

    By the way, I’m working my way through the “Anne” series and just finished “Anne of the Island”. You inspired me to do so and I’m having so much fun with them. I’m just sprinkling them between heavier and darker reading. I always feel rather cleansed by reading them, say, after a P. D. James mystery. 🙂

  7. I can definitely relate to what you are saying here. It brings conviction to my heart as well. Though I have had much victory lately over some sins in my life, it seems the more I plunge into this heart that I have, the more sin I find. I am often overwhelmed by this.
    I struggled to be content when I was single. Now I feel more content since I am married but struggle against frustration and irritation with my husband. I have quit smoking cigarettes but still struggle with an emotional food addiction. I have often said sometimes it seems like the road to Heaven is all up hill. (thats actually a line from Stepping Heavenward) But thankfully our entrance into Heaven and God’s presence is eternally assured!
    Doing the work is hard, to be sure. I am grateful for God’s grace to be able to be overcoming my own sinfulness just a little more everyday. My desire to be authentic is thankfully more overwhelming due to that same grace of God at work in me then my sinfulness is. Great post, Laurie. God Bless You and Yours.

  8. I have been so convicted recently about the need for authenticity in my life. This post really spoke to me. God has brought us through 5 years of crisis circumstances that have exposed and refined much in my life…and He continues to expose and refine! Thanks for sharing this.

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