I am finishing my first year of homeschooling this month. I can hardly believe how quickly it has gone by! For my own benefit I wanted to articulate one of the biggest things God showed me through the adventure of homeschooling.
From the beginning I knew this was going to be difficult. God has been so gracious all along the way. If I could sum up one thing He continues to remind me of it would be that I need to bring both success and failure to the same place…to the Cross. You see, in my experience this year I remember times during Bible when I was just overwhelmed at the priviledge of learning about the gospel together. I would be crying while I tried to explain verses we were memorizing like Romans 5:8, just genuinely longing for them to really understand this amazing good news. And then, five minutes later I would be yelling at them for not paying attention to me. In academics, I have experienced the joy of seeing one of my children learn something for the first time because God granted wisdom to me for how to teach it. And yet, I also experienced the guilt of neglecting a subject(s) because I was lazy and didn’t want to teach it. Every day all day long I am experiencing both success and failure. And in His kindness, God showed me, and continues to remind me (O that I would remember!)what to do with both: bring it to the cross.
When I am successful, it is the direct result of grace flowing to me as a result of Jesus’s dying on the cross. At the end of the day when I see the grace that was manifested, I want to go to Him with gratitude recognizing it was all of His grace. Also, I want to go to the cross to say HERE is where my righteousness is found…not in my good performance.
When I fail, I must go to the cross and ask Jesus for forgiveness which is available because of His death and resurrection. It is in pondering the cross that I am reminded that my right standing before God is not affected by my poor performance. My access to grace is not nullified. My status as child of God is not void. What comfort this brings in the light of such sin (revealed many times in the context of homeschooling).
When I take success and failure to the cross, what I am really doing is taking it there to cast it off and then cling to the cross. Thank you, God that in seeking to educate my children, I find myself to be the student in Your school of grace.
Nothing in my hands I bring
Simply to Thy cross I cling