Dinner Tonight

Here are the topics covered in dinner conversations tonight:

Pete Rose and his being banned from the Hall of Fame.

Donte Stallworth accidentally killing a man by reckless driving.

Jason explaining international trading systems in soccer. (snooooorrrre…oops, excuse me, I think I dozed off for a second).

Quick drill of post office abbreviations for as many states as we could come up with.

All of the Mallinaks read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, even Benjamin who is about halfway through.

Brothers in our old neighborhood whose mom hadn’t married her boyfriend (who apparently called all of the boys the “A” word) after two years.

Quick teachable moment by dad about our attitude toward unbelievers who can’t help but sin because unlike Christians they don’t have the power of the gospel at work in them.

A few funny parts Maggie remembered  in a Junie B. Jones book.

What we should name future children in the family. Caleb wants us to have twins: Simeon and Jude. (no, this is not an announcement of some sort.)

This was a fairly typical conversation at our dinner table. I love the constant chatter even if 80% has to do with sports. I don’t want to forget these normal moments that represent a very sweet season of parenting.

***

What I still have a hard time believing is that it didn’t include:

Eat two more bites

Sit down

No you may not be excused from the table

Stop touching your brother

Potty break 1, 2, and 3 (and at least one visit requiring my “help”)

Sit down.

That doesn’t count as a bite.

No you did not eat enough to have dessert.

Two more bites.

Okay, it’s time for your bath.

***

And yes, Joshua finally solved the Rubik’s cube. It hasn’t left his side ever since. :)

Heart Attacks, Drunk Men, and the Gospel

It was a crazy Sunday morning. I received news at 9:30 that my mom had a heart attack (I thought maybe typing those words would make it seem more real to me – it doesn’t – I still can’t believe she had a heart attack!). Frantic doesn’t even describe the next half hour. Fortunately, I quickly received word that she was doing well and as far as heart attacks go, this was the best-case scenario. She suffered no heart damage, and the cardiologist was very encouraging.

In my two years in Ohio (the rest of my family lives in MD) I never felt so frustrated and helpless. I couldn’t just be there with my mom and the rest of my family. However, God gave me the best husband I know and he immediately made arrangements to fly me to MD.  I stopped by the church on my way to the airport to say goodbye to Jason and as I was leaving he said to me, “As I was praying this morning, I thought you might get the chance to share the gospel with someone on the airplane.” In the emotion of the morning, I thought to myself that if ever a gal had a get-out-of-evangelism-free card it was I. After all, hadn’t I just had one of the worst mornings of my life? I was a little distracted by what was going on in my family to be thinking of others, and so went the mental list of reasons why I really didn’t need to be thinking in terms of evangelism that morning.

Eventually I was sitting in the terminal waiting to board the plane. I decided to read my Bible while I waited. I think I smelled him before I saw him. Disheveled and obviously drunk, the man making his way toward me looked like a homeless person who had miraculously appeared in the Southwest terminal. I confess that the thought flashed through my mind, “please may he not sit next to…” too late. There he was sitting right next to me. I continued to read my Bible. In a loud slurred voice the man asked me what I was reading. I told him. He marveled that I could read such fine print. I explained that my glasses helped. He then said, “even if I had glasses I wouldn’t read the Bible.” I asked why. I was completely unprepared for his response. “Because my son was killed on Friday and I’m heading to his funeral.” At this point he broke down sobbing. I’m sure we made quite a picture. Me in my Sunday finest drinking Starbucks and reading my little travel size Bible. Him, dirty, drunk and going between sobbing and talking about how excited he was to be traveling to warm, Florida weather. He was really loud. People were staring.

I offered feeble condolences and before the words were completely out of my mouth the man looked me square in the eye and said, “I was taught in Catholic school that God was all powerful. If He is all powerful, why did He let my son get killed in a motorcycle accident?” More sobbing.  I said, “I don’t know why that happened, but I do know this, my husband was praying this morning and thought God told him I might have an opportunity to talk to someone about Him here at the airport. It isn’t an accident that I am sitting right next to you. God sees you and sat us together so I could tell you about Jesus.” I shared the gospel with him. He sort of heard me. I think everyone in the entire terminal heard me.

I am ashamed to say that in my little Christian girl bubble of a world, I judged this man. The thought didn’t occur to me that he was drunk and dirty at 10 am because he was grieving. My heart is still pricked by this when I consider my initial attitude of self-righteousness and self-preservation. I’m grateful that in spite of myself, God gave me the chance to share with him the hope of the gospel. Jason and I call it evangelism for dummies when an unbeliever practically asks you, “could you share the gospel with me?” I am a dummie -not often inclined to share the hope of the gospel with unbelievers. This experience has increased my faith and made me more aware of those around me. Also, I have prayed for the grieving drunk man many times since our encounter.  Would you stop and pray for him as well? I don’t even know his name, but I take comfort that God obviously does.

One last thing, isn’t it amazing that on this morning that my mom had a heart attack, God would see this hurting man, put it in Jason’s mind to tell me to look for an opportunity to share the gospel, sit me in a Southwest terminal where I would be inclined to read the Psalms to comfort my own soul, and then sit the man next to me to hear the gospel?! And who knows who else in the vicinity needed to hear the gospel that morning. I’m amazed but not surprised because when I think about it, this is exactly who Jesus came to save.

Luke 5:30-32 And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

This Christmas I rejoice in the fact that the Savior came for sin sick people like me…and the grieving drunk man from Gate B9.

MOMentum*: The Mother’s Fight for Patience

*MOMentum is a new feature of Ordinary Mother. My hope is to harness the power of the gospel to impel us forward in our pursuit of biblical womanhood.

This poem is my attempt to capture three different seasons of motherhood that require patience and one all-encompassing motivator and sustainer of patience: the cross of Jesus Christ. It is inspired by my own desire to grow in this fruit of the spirit, particular in my mothering.

A Mother Fights For Patience

Do not climb there.

Don’t touch that please.

Stay in your chair.

Eat your egg-ies.

One hundred times

She says these things

It’s five past nine

In the morning

She must delight

In ones so dear.

How will she fight

For patience here?

***

Stop touching her.

What is that noise?

Get the plunger.

Pick up your toys.

One hundred times

She says these things

From morn to night

Fighting siblings

She must delight

In ones so dear

How will she fight

For patience here?

***

You should have called.

Don’t use that tone.

What’s at the mall?

I want you home.

One hundred times

She says these things

It’s one o’ nine

In the morning

She must delight

In ones so dear.

How will she fight

For patience here?

***

She bows her head

And lifts her gaze

Sits on her bed

Solemnly prays

The Spirit then

Reminds her of

The patience in

The Savior’s love

With hungry crowds

And Pharisees

Disciple’s vows

Caesars’ decrees

With shouting Jews

And soldiers’ scorn

Beaten and bruised

A crown of thorns

Nailed to a cross

At Calvary

His words to us

Echo loudly

Father, forgive…

…you’ll be with Me…

It is finished!

Why do you weep?

Infinite times

He says to us

Remember my

Glorious Cross

He does delight

In ones so dear

He won the fight

For patience here

Snow Day

Click to enlarge

Wii Bit of Caution

Wii finally have one. My generous parents bought the kids a nintendo wii for Christmas this year, and Jason’s generous parents bought the extra controllers and games. I am so happy for my kids who have wanted a Wii for a long time.

Wii put it off as long as possible because video games seem to provide unique temptation for our particular family. Somehow the combination of technology, competition, sports, and little boys makes for a lot of fun, but a lot of need for boundaries and caution.

Jason and I are going to talk about setting guidelines for having a Wii in our house while we’re here (most likely during the 6 hour car ride home). But I know many of you out there either have game systems or know others who do, so I really want to hear what boundaries, rules, guidelines you have (or have heard of) for helping little hearts not get sucked into the virtual/technological vortex.

Here are some temptations my guys have (just to help you understand where we are coming from):

1. Wii get bored…with normal, run of the mill toys and imagination play. One problem with this form of uber-entertainment (at least for my boys it is), is that everything else seems blase and boring.

2. Wii get idolatrous. I think it is true of every form of entertainment – just wish it was books or something :) – but when they wake up talking about the game they’ve been playing, and the theme of every converstion somehow ends up landing on a video game, I get a bit concerned. As humans we are all created to worship, and therefore we will all worship something, for little boys it can be video games.

3.  Wii waste time. This is pretty self explanatory, but as they are getting older Jason and I are trying to battle against a perceived right to leisure and entertainment. I hate to be one of those cynical old people pointing to the new generation wagging a self righteous finger (there is nothing new under the sun)…but, my kids’ generation does seem more indulged and more entitlement oriented. I won’t pontificate on my theories why, but still we see the tendency of all of our hearts to be influenced by the philosophy of the world which is low on hard work, and big on entertainment.

And to be fair and forthright, I want to tell you about my own temptations regarding this Wii entering the house.

1. Wii Nanny. As a mom I usually get a huge break when my kids are so pleasantly occupied, therefore it is difficult not to let our allotted time run over. Right now we have a certain amount of time the boys are allowed some sort of gaming (so far it has been hand held games, not a big system). It is already a temptation to let this time get prolonged especially when the weather is nasty and they can’t go outside. The Wii could become a virtual nanny for me, and I do not want that!

2.  Wii manipulate. Here’s the other temptation: use the Wii as a bribing tool. You can play once you finish…  or  If you fight we will turn it off… I know that this is a complete cop out from dealing with the heart issues that arise from having a gaming system in the house. I also know that I am using their own idolatry to serve my own idols of peace, quiet, and order. I hate to do this, but it is a temptation.

Okay, your turn. What wisdom can you offer regarding bringing a Wii into our family?

Sierra and Caleb

My niece, Sierra, is a very talented girl. She is good at every imaginable art. Seriously.

In this video she is singing a song she and her friend wrote. Sierra wrote the melody, her friend wrote the lyrics.

Oh…and be sure to watch my dad play the air bongos in the beginning. He is so funny! He was actually trying to signal my son Joshua to get the bongos and play along.

Square Peg, Round Hole

*This is the testimony I referred to here about home management not coming naturally. For really outstanding homemaking help please read the girltalkers latest series on the subject starting here. It is excellent.

Messies. SHE’s (sidetracked home executives). Type B. I prefer to call it “creative and spontaneous”. We are the ones for whom this whole area of home management doesn’t come easily. Rather than list the reasons for this, or the ways to change, I decided that it would be best to share with you my own story. I have experienced much grace in the area of home management. This is to the glory of God alone, believe me. My hope is that you will have fresh faith in God’s ability to work in your life in any area, not just keeping house.

Change in my life began when God showed me that it was His will for me to be a worker at home. Through His word, various teachings, books, and others around me I was able to understand this was part of God’s design for me as a woman. After various phases such as resenting my house-keeper status, frustration over the never finished nature of housework, and an arrogant need to be seen and appreciated God mercifully broke through giving me a desire to pursue growth in this area. You can read more detail about what I learned as far as motivators and motivations here.

Change in my life continued when God began convicting me of the various sins that were hindering my obedience to His will in this area. Laziness and self indulgence along with bowing to the idol of comfort and ease were the most consistent areas of sin being exposed. There was such liberty in calling sin “sin”. Before this I just figured I was a square peg of a woman trying to fit into the round hole of home maker. There is no hope in this conclusion. Jesus came to die for sinners, forgiving them, and changing them. I can’t be set free from my personality, but I can be set free from laziness, self-indulgence etc. Even more amazing, I can have grace to change in these areas.

Change happened as God showed me my need to depend on Him even in this practical area. Dependence meant prayer. Believe it or not there were many times I had to pray, “God please help me to get up and unload the dishwasher. I don’t want to do it. I just want to sit here and…” Then I would get up and do it. It was an embarrassingly hard battle with my flesh to do fairly routine housework. This was such grace, though. I didn’t mount up on some mystical bubble that carried me up to the laundry room where my tingling fingers would work their way through a mountain of laundry. It felt like really hard work. Working hard is profound grace at work nonetheless.

Finally, change came as my husband prayed over me for anointing to do the practical work of home making. This sounds rather dramatic for what it really looked like. Jason prays briefly over me most mornings. The prayers are basically, “God help my wife today” kinds of prayers. But in the early years, he distinctly prayed for anointing for home management things. God answered those prayers. I believe He gave wisdom (mostly through books and older ladies) to run my home more efficiently…this obviously wasn’t a tribute to my personality, but to God at work in my life.

Truth is, even though I don’t generally have a huge battle with my flesh everytime I unload the dishwasher anymore, I am still seeing my need for growth in this area. I am not discouraged, I am full of faith. More than God helping me establish patterns of keeping the kitchen clean, learning how best to store legos, or stay on top of the laundry, God has changed my heart. Willpower would only result in external comformity resulting in pride or more likely, failure. But God’s grace at work resulted in a heart change. I can honestly say that by God’s grace, over the years my love for my home and joy in working in my home has increased. I want to learn more of the domestic arts and improve in the ones I already know. If you looked in my garage today you would agree that I have definitely not arrived. In fact, Jason and I just recently had a little lengthy discussion about my priorities lately reflecting more selfishness than a desire to help and serve him. Ouch. But when I consider the grace that has been available for change so far, it gives me hope that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.

When It Doesn’t Come Naturally*

*I wrote this in January, ’06, but was reminded of the principle in my recent visit back to Maryland.

Isn’t God kind to endow various gifts to people? I am related to exceptionally gifted women. My mother is highly administrative. The women’s ministry at Chesapeake amazing, complete with weekly Bible Study (child care provided), quarterly ladies meeting (food provided), amazing ladies retreat every other year, and the Christmas Breakfast which draws more unbelievers than any other church event. My mom’s gift of vision and administrative ability is a distinct means of grace to the ladies at Chesapeake. My sister, Karyn, is an amazing interior designer. She has such a gift of making things beautiful. Anytime she stays at my house to watch the kids, when I come home, it is “re-accessorized”. It’s amazing what she can do by just clustering this, or shifting that. My sister-in-law Abby, is the voice of songs such as Everlasting, Jesus, My Only Hope, and many more on the Sovereign Grace worship cd’s. Her voice is more than beautiful, it is anointed! My sister in law Emily is a great writer. In particular, she writes skits. I am amazed at her creativity, humor, and depth revealed in each and every skit she writes. Again, it goes beyond talent to something anointed by God. My mother in law, Debbie, is a gifted choir director. She directed the Christmas Cantata this year, and her grace and musicality, combined with love for worship made for a powerful performance.

I love seeing God use different people’s gifts to bless the church, but lately I have been thinking about what happens when God calls us to something that we are not naturally gifted in. It was triggered by a post by Carolyn McCulley. Carolyn was answering a question someone asked about counsel for introverts who want to grow in hospitality. Carolyn wisely answered beginning with the following:

I hope it encourages you to know this, but some of the best people I know at drawing others out are actually introverts. They’ve submitted themselves to the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, so there is a Spirit-controlled aspect to their natural personality, if you will.

Somehow, Carolyn’s comment has resonated with me ever since. There are some areas where God has given a measure of gifting or capacity and those things feel natural to me. There are many other areas, however, that don’t feel like such a good fit. For example, I am not naturally gifted in home management. But I have seen how by submitting to the Sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit (not always a pretty picture, I assure you) there is to the glory of God alone, growth in this area.

Seeing how God can work through the Holy Spirit to cause ability beyond what is natural gives me faith to step out where I might have feared to tread before. It also helps me to want to submit more to the Holy Spirit’s work, instead of wish I were naturally a little more cut out for certain things. Gifts given by God do most definitely glorify God – my family is a constant display of this truth. But it is beautiful in a different way to see ladies walking with “a Spirit-controlled aspect to their natural personality,” like when someone who doesn’t feel comfortable cooking brings a meal to a new mom; or when a shy caregroup leader’s wife leads her growth group; when a “comfortable behind-the-scenes pastor’s wife” gives a teaching (mom); or when a more “spontaneous” lady submits to the routine of housework; when a night owl learns to rise early for devotions, or a non-reader makes it through the Bible – what beauty!

Where have you seen the Holy Spirit work in/through you where your natural personality/gifting are lacking?

“The Lord God helps me, therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.” Isaiah 50:7