Just A Thought for my Young Mommy Friends

For a few years, I was the poster child for mother of small children. I had four children under the age of four. The preschool years were some of the hardest of my parenting life.  So, I want to talk to you young moms out there who have a lot of little ones in your home. During the holidays you are probably hearing about all kinds of traditions, decorating ideas, gifts, projects, crafts, recipes, etc.  If you’re like me, you are thinking that these would be great things for you to do with your kids, for your relatives, etc. Can I offer a bit of advice that may help you and your family this year? Consider keeping it simple. Very simple. Don’t look at what others are doing and think you should be able to do it all. or any of it.  I will tell you from experience that there will be many years ahead when you can enjoy all of these things. It really will happen. You will be able to deck your halls, bake homemade cookies, host an open house, contribute to a charity, you name it. Don’t feel guilty or inept about it. You are in a season, and it is one that will pass faster than you can imagine today.

I know you gals (most of you) who read this blog. I so admire that you want to make the most of every opportunity to make memories with your children, teach them it is better to give than to receive, and most importantly that Christmas is about our Savior coming to earth to rescue sinful man. But it just may be that this year you make memories during birthdays, teach it is better to give than to receive at Father’s Day, and simply focus on the true meaning of Christmas. It’s just a thought.

Bandwagons Aren’t Bad

I mentioned that I am slower to get on certain bandwagons these days. This isn’t to say that I’m not on any bandwagons. I am.

1. The beauty of biblical femininity

2. The gospel’s relevance to the daily life of a Christian woman

3. Men should never wear skinny jeans. ever.

There are women I respect who have wonderful bandwagons. I think most bandwagons in the Christian Mommy Blogosphere are well-intended. Many of the mommy blogs have a specialization because these capable gals are using their blog to make money through advertisers and product reviews, or they are gaining exposure in hopes of publishing material. It makes sense that a blog on frugality would have tons of posts about how the author saves money on her grocery bill. If she isn’t passionate, enthusiastic, and persuasive about being frugal, her blog isn’t going to be very successful.

I also think bandwagon blogs are a wonderful outlet for sharing God-given gifts and talents. Are you good at decorating? Cooking? Creative parenting? Writing? By all means, share. Do you have special training in prenatal care, health and nutrition, educational techniques? By all means, share. Are you learning how to be frugal, eat healthy, run a marathon? Please share.What a wonderful inspiration to see God’s grace displayed with variety and beauty through the gifts, talents, and efforts of Christian women from all over the country.

It is so wonderful to read about how Christian women who are excited about  expressions of biblical womanhood. Where this can go wrong is when we assign moral value to practices that aren’t clearly commanded or prohibited in scripture. One danger is that we can feel unnecessary guilt when we aren’t able to live by a certain practice. Another danger is we can look down on others who don’t adopt our same practice. Those dangers are two sides of the coin of self righteousness.  Either danger keeps us from humbly appreciating the work of God in each others’ lives.

I want to get on the bandwagon that loves to encourage other ladies, especially young moms, in their often-very-hidden pursuit of God and His will for them.  I want to be able to point out subtleties of grace that a young mom may not see in her own life while her house is a mess and she serves PBJ’s for dinner, again. I also want to be challenged by the bandwagoneers in areas where God may be calling me to grow. It is wonderfully humbling to see another woman doing what I cannot do because I am not as godly, gifted, or capable; but it is also good to be inspired to try harder or try something new that may be a good fit for me and my family in the season of life we are in. So while I don’t think I’ll be raising my own chickens, clipping coupons, or having the children memorize Westminster Catechism this year, I will be inspired as I see the grace and beauty of the One who is at work to will and to do for His good pleasure (Phil 2:13) in the lives of Christian women everywhere.

 

Getting Older = Getting Off the Bandwagon

As of yesterday, I’m 39 years old. I’m not “old” yet, but I’m definitely getting older. And while I’m not crazy about the effects of aging on my face and body, I have to say that so far I don’t mind having the number climb upwards. I’ve noticed a few things about getting older. My hair is getting thinner, and lines on my face are getting deeper.  But one thing I’ve noticed lately is that I don’t bandwagon as much. When I was younger, I chose to get passionate about all kinds of things. I would throw myself into peripherals: scheduling my babies, home organization techniques, homeschooling philosophies and practices, once-a-month cooking, you get the idea.  I thank God that the blog world did not exist when I was a young mother or I would have been sucked into a whole slew of other things:  simple, frugal, green, and crunchy. These are good things, don’t get me wrong, but as a younger woman, these things would have crushed me. I would have made the youthful assumption that it might just be possible for me, the ordinary mother, to do it all (and I would have assumed that everyone else was doing it all – and trust me, they aren’t). I might attempt it, but would surely come crashing into the wall of my limitations. As I have lived a little longer I’m learning what is really worth my time and energy.  I’m basing this on a more accurate estimation of myself, and my personal set of circumstances. As I get older, I am slower to step on anyone’s peripheral bandwagon. That’s one good thing about getting a few years behind you.

I have a ton more to say about young women and bandwagons, but I’ll save it for a future post. I think I might be bandwagoning against bandwagons. hmmm.

 

One Big Tangled Mess

Maggie’s hair, that is. Imagine rather fine but abundant hair that is tight ringlets in some places straight in others and you have my girlie’s hair. Being the only girl after a string of three very boyish boys, my girl has had hairdo’s since a little tiny whisp was long enough to make into a spiky little pigtail. The older she gets, the harder her hair is to make look presentable. She wants it long, and it is very pretty long hair.

So I must ask all of you hair-doing ladies out there, what do I do with this hair? What products help? How do I get the tangles out without as much pain? What would you do, or have you done with your daughter’s or your own unruly hair? If you are a curly-headed gal, do you get the tangles out or put some product in it, scrunch it, and call it a day?

And by the way, isn’t my tousle-haired girl a beauty?! I love that face. and that hair!!!

 

 

Two Recent Discoveries

our first fire

1. Stove popped popcorn (as opposed to microwaveable).  Whenever someone would refuse to buy microwave popcorn and choose to do it the old-fashioned way, I would do the equivalent of an internal rolling of the eyes. I mean, why would you complicate something that is so easy and cheap? I am happy to humble myself and say to all of my non-microwaving-popcorn-popping friends, that I now understand. completely. I made popcorn over the stove last night (after having it first at my friends the Joyce’s house a couple of weeks back), and though I’m not ready to purge our cupboards of the easy microwaveable stuff, I will be popping on the stove a lot more from now on.

2.  Real wood burning fireplace (as opposed to the gas, flip-of-a-switch kind). Have you ever heard someone who is committed to a real wood burning fireplace talk about it? They go on and on with the smell, the sound, the beauty and variety. These are usually the same people who gasp in horror at the idea of an artificial Christmas tree. You know who you are. Jimmy. Anyway, I have been blessed with fireplaces in the last three houses. The first two were gas. I loved, and stubbornly supported the wonders of flip-of-the-switch fire building. It seemed just our speed, Jason not being an outdoorsy type. At all. So after last nights inaugural real-wood-fire in our new house, I am again happy to humble myself and say I was wrong. I love a real wood fireplace, with the smell and sound and variety of flame patterns.

So I just want to say I’m sorry to all of you stove top popping, real wood fire burning people out there. I’m sorry that though I may have been smiling and nodding on the outside, I was rolling my eyes on the inside. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you, until now. You were right. I was wrong.  But for the record, I still love my box cake mixes and artificial Christmas Tree.

 

Caramel Apple Cake

I found this on Allrecipes in search of something like Briana’s apple cake recipe.

It is delicious! A wonderful dessert for autumn.

3 eggs
2 c. sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 c. oil
1 c. chopped nuts (we don’t include nuts because some of my guys are anti-nut)
3 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
4 apples, peeled and chopped

Mix eggs, sugar, vanilla and oil in bowl. Mix flour, soda, cinnamon and salt. Add apples and nuts to dry ingredients. Mix all together. Pour into well-greased Bundt pan. Bake for 1 1/2 hours at 325 degrees. Cool for 15 minutes.

CARAMEL SAUCE:

1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. butter
1/2 c. whipping cream

Bring to boil. Serve over slices of cake.  (I drizzle it over the cake and then have a little serving bowl with a spoon for folks to add more to their slice).

confessions part 2

Here is an excerpt from part 2 of the post i wrote for the Sovereign Grace Pastor’s Wives blog:

Phase 5: This is much harder than I thought it would be

Over time the comfort of ordinary rituals, and the exhilaration of being part of a new adventure faded. Once the blur and novelty wore off, I found things that used to be second nature, gradually harder to do. I wasn’t curled up in a dark closet in the fetal position or anything, I just felt an over-arching malaise. Sometimes it was hard to tell if I was physically tired, sad, or just plain lazy. Everything from getting dressed and presentable in the morning, to routine housework, or even just going out of the house felt very hard. As a result, my home was less tidy than usual, my day to day appearance more -eh hem- organic than usual, and I felt tempted to be isolated rather than enjoy fellowship with others. What was it? Was I depressed? Was I mourning? Was I just being lazy and self indulgent? Perhaps all of these things- I don’t know, but what I do know is that God used this season of my life to humble me and teach me greater dependence on Him.

Looking back, I think there were several things that contributed to this miserable season of my experience. One factor was that while I fully anticipated the pain of leaving my beloved family (which was still more painful than I expected), I totally underestimated the pain of leaving my church family. I missed my church in Maryland. I missed the comfort of being known and knowing others around me. I missed well-established biblical fellowship. I missed my staff wives growth group. I missed my role in the women’s ministry. It was hard to hear about life moving forward in Sovereign Grace Church without being part of it. Another factor was the siren songs of self pity and self indulgence. There was a subtle (or not so subtle) feeling that hey, I just did something really hard and painful so I’m entitled to comfort/console/reward/distract myself with food, phone calls, and Facebook. Living such an indulgent life is depressing. Obviously, and I know this – I’m a pastor’s wife for crying out loud – there was no comfort, consolation, reward, or escape found in these things. There was only the downward spiral of failure and guilt. I have been well taught and know that “the path of duty is the way of safety” but I wandered from that path, gave myself a pass on a lot of my duties because I was grieving, and the result was that I was more miserable.

My husband had the difficult job of being compassionate and understanding, but not letting me continue in this downward spiral. Jason was extremely patient, but challenged me as well. Part of his leadership included constantly reminding me of various aspects of the gospel, praying for me, supplying me with good materials to read or listen to, sending me to the local coffee shop to get vision for my life as a wife, mother, and homemaker. But his leadership also included extremely practical things like holding me accountable to limit my time on the computer (for a month I only turned it on during weekends), me going on the South Beach diet to break some unhealthy eating habits (Jason didn’t suggest the diet. He’s brave, but not stupid), and my incorporating exercise into my week (jazzercise – and yes, I’m still looking for that perfect set of coordinating leg warmer/sweatbands ). Within a month I started feeling much better. These things seem so unspiritual, but I think because doing them required such dependence on the Holy Spirit, such brutal battle with my flesh, that I really saw the benefits in other areas of my life that required desperate, dependent self-control. I can’t help but adding that I was truly surprised that a huge spiritual emphasis God had for me during the first year of my relocating was the need to cultivate self control. Whether it was self control over unhelpful thought patterns, the use of food or entertainment for wrong reasons, or reigning in emotions and feelings, I discovered (and continue to discover) that self control is indeed a wall of defense particularly during times of emotional vulnerability.

The rest of it it right here.