One Extra Hour

We turn clocks back tonight. What had been a huge blessing for many years turned into something I dreaded for three or four. That extra hour is great, unless your little children take a few weeks to adjust and you take only a few days. And believe me, it didn’t matter if I kept them up long the night before or not. That never has resulted in my early risers sleeping in…ever!  That extra hour with them at that time of the day never felt like much of a blessing.

Now that they can all read the clock, that extra hour is back to being a blessing. They know not to come down until 7 a.m. and though I feel badly about that long hour for them, their bodies adjust so much faster now. 

What to do with an extra hour?! 

Here are a few ideas (you have to scroll down to the bottom).

 So tell me, what are you going to do with an extra hour?

Chick Chat

Chick Chat, the blog by the staff wives of Chesapeake Community Church,  has officially begun. We hope to post at least every Friday, but you may want to subscribe with your bloglines account because we could write more frequently.  Just a heads up, we are going to have a Thanksgiving theme for the month of November and want to enlist your help in the writing.  Why don’t you go take a look by clicking here.

The Gospel and Housework

Before we get practical about home management for the mommy years, I just want to remind myself and whoever else may need it of one thing. Whether you are a “cleanie” a “messie” or both depending on the day, our peace cannot come from whether or not we did our to-do list, were successful at organizing, or kept the kitchen clean. At the end of everyday, our peace and righteousness comes from one place alone: Jesus’ finished work on the Cross. Only One walked on the earth doing everything He was called to do. And on that list that included fasting for 40 days, healing the sick, teaching the multitudes, walking in every work set forth every single day was His death on a cross. And because Jesus said, “Not my will but Yours be done,” every sin we ever committed, are committing, and will commit has been paid for by Christ; and every bit of righteousness that Jesus walked in has been placed on us. This is the only source of peace and righteousness.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Since his supposed retirement (we’ll see about that) from fantasy football, my husband has become something of a legend. Men who once were his victims opponents, now call at all hours to get just a little wisdom from “UB” (abb. for “Unbreakables”, an ironic team name for a guy who has had two surgeries in the last four years). I hear the poetic half-conversations from Jason’s end of the telephone of who to trade and when. What to do about the unexpected injured guy, and how to get s0 and so to give you that player you need. I hear the ol’ stories of the draft day when UB brought a notebook with dividers for each position and the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc…pick for each one. (this is absolutely true, and his disciple Paul came to this year’s draft day notebook in hand).

Technically UB has only officially won one of the three years the league has exsisted, but he takes credit for all three victories. His controversial assistance for the season 2  victor has caused unity on the staff of CCC to be threatened. (Karen, how’s Jim doing? Is he still bitter?) And UB takes credit for last year’s victor because he chose Paul’s entire team for him (Paul had first pick due to being in last place the year before.)

So you may be asking what it’s like to be married to such a man? He’s handsome. He’s determined. He’s full of absolutely astounding amounts of information about the most obscure guy playing football (or even just warming a bench). So if your husband is struggling with his fantasy team, players are injured, stars are not performing well…just get in touch with the man, the myth, the legend, my husband and hero, The Unbreakable Jason Reyes.

Great Quote for Moms

Nicole of Girl Talk posted an inspiring quote today. I’m sure you are all Girl Talk readers, but just in case, read it here.

Easy Pumpkin Shaped Cake

This is the cake I made for Briana’s birthday party. It was really easy, and so realistic looking that people didn’t realize it was the cake. I made it with two bundt cakes (use a dense cake like pound or carrot) turned to make the shape of a pumpkin. I dyed the buttercream icing as realistically as possible, made the stem and leaves out of gumpaste, and put real mums around the base just for presentation. Try it!

Square Peg, Round Hole

Messies. SHE’s (sidetracked home executives). Type B. I prefer to call it “creative and spontaneous”.  We are the ones for whom this whole area of home management doesn’t come easily. Rather than list the reasons for this, or the ways to change, I decided that it would be best to share with you my own story. I have experienced much grace in the area of home management. This is to the glory of God alone, believe me. My hope is that you will have fresh faith in God’s ability to work in your life in any area, not just keeping house.

Change in my life began when God showed me that it was His will for me to be a worker at home. Through His word, various teachings, books, and others around me I was able to understand this was part of God’s design for me as a woman. After various phases such as resenting my house-keeper status, frustration over the never finished nature of housework, and an arrogant need to be seen and appreciated God mercifully broke through giving me a desire to pursue growth in this area. You can read more detail about what I learned as far as motivators and motivations here.

Change in my life continued when God began convicting me of the various sins that were hindering my obedience to His will in this area. Laziness and self indulgence along with bowing to the idol of comfort and ease were the most consistent areas of sin being exposed. There was such liberty in calling sin “sin”. Before this I just figured I was a square peg of a woman trying to fit into the round hole of home maker. There is no hope in this conclusion. Jesus came to die for sinners, forgiving them, and changing them. I can’t be set free from my personality, but I can be set free from laziness, self-indulgence etc. Even more amazing, I can have grace to change in these areas.

Change happened as God showed me my need to depend on Him even in this practical area. Dependence meant prayer. Believe it or not there were many times I had to pray, “God please help me to get up and unload the dishwasher. I don’t want to do it. I just want to sit here and…” Then I would get up and do it. It was an embarrassingly hard battle with my flesh to do fairly routine housework. This was such grace, though.  I didn’t mount up on some mystical bubble that carried me up to the laundry room where my tingling fingers would work their way through a mountain of laundry. It felt like really hard work. Working hard is profound grace at work nonetheless.

Finally, change came as my husband prayed over me for anointing to do the practical work of home making. This sounds rather dramatic for what it really looked like. Jason prays briefly over me most mornings. The prayers are basically, “God help my wife today” kinds of prayers. But in the early years, he distinctly prayed for anointing for home management things. God answered those prayers. I believe He gave wisdom (mostly through books and older ladies) to run my home more efficiently…this obviously wasn’t a tribute to my personality, but to God at work in my life.

Truth is, even though I don’t generally have a huge battle with my flesh everytime I unload the dishwasher anymore, I am still seeing my need for growth in this area. I am not discouraged, I am full of faith. More than God helping me establish patterns of keeping the kitchen clean, learning how best to store legos, or stay on top of the laundry, God has changed my heart. Willpower would only result in external comformity resulting in pride or more likely, failure. But God’s grace at work resulted in a heart change. I can honestly say that by God’s grace, over the years my love for my home and joy in working in my home has increased. I want to learn more of the domestic arts and improve in the ones I already know.  If you  looked in my garage today you would agree that I have definitely not arrived. In fact, Jason and I just recently had a little lengthy discussion about my priorities lately reflecting more selfishness than a desire to help and serve him. Ouch. But when I consider the grace that has been available for change so far, it gives me hope that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.

The Idol of the Ideal

The ideal body. The ideal day. The ideal home. The ideal children. The ideal husband. The ideal me. Most of have some image of what our ideals are. I know I have a fantasy me and she is doing it all. Fantasy me is a composite of people whom I admire and respect. Fantasy Laurie bakes her own bread, grows all of her own fruits and vegetables, makes clothing, and my favorite of fantasy domestic skills, cans food for the winter. Her house is clean, her hair is done, and in fact she is wearing pearls, dress, and heels everyday. She is a combination of Elisabeth Elliot, Martha Stewart, and June Cleaver. Right now while the real me (wearing faded black pants and army green top, hair wadded up in a scrunchy)  is being interrupted from blogging because my one son is driving the other son crazy with the clicking of his pen, fantasy me is making a breakfast of eggs, bacon, waffles, and freshly squeezed orange juice (from the tree we planted) while her children read the Bible quietly.  It is so funny really. A friend and I always get a kick out of saying what the fantasy me (or her) is doing when something in real life is less than ideal.

Sometimes what people call perfectionism can be a cluster of all kinds of sins. It can be pride, wanting to be perfect and have everything go perfectly just like…like God. It can be legalism, trying to rest in my performance rather than in Christ’s finished work on my behalf (exhausting, I’m sure!). It can also be idolatry of a whole bunch of things: order, control, and the ideal. I am not a perfectionist. I think it is funny that most of the people commenting on these posts have the opposite problem I do. My threshold for living in disarray is a bit higher than others who are reading. (isn’t that a nice way of saying I’m lazy and self-indulgent, and housework just ain’t my thing !)  Seriously though, sometimes the messiest houses are the result of idolizing the ideal. If it can’t be perfect, why bother! 

Why is the ideal a dangerous idol? Idolizing the ideal can result in misplaced priorities. Cleaning, order, and that rush from getting something accomplished can become more important than people around us. Idolizing the ideal can result in exhaustion. You can always do more. You can always do better. Idolizing the ideal can result in serious disorder and chaos if you don’t bother trying because it can’t be perfect.

If you have small children, the ideal with regards to home and home management is  a futile pursuit. All walls painted the latest color, just might not happen (at least not without crayon touches, nicks, scratches, and fingerprints – and aren’t we all grateful to God for the magic eraser?!).  All laundry being finished is not possible. Organizing the closet without interruption even during the nap time is probably not going to happen. (as an aside, did you ever notice that when you really want to do something during nappy time – like sleep, clean, or make a phone call - that’s the one time they don’t sleep?) The inability to reach the ideal is God’s kindness to us. If we were able to attain the ideal, we would be self-sufficient and proud, wouldn’t we?  This is not the season to pursue the ideal with regards to home management. Is there a season that is?

I hope to post later about the other hindrances the ”less inclined to cleaning” among us face in regards to glorifying God through home management.

The Law and Order

Legalism has a way of creeping into every area of life including home management. It often wears different masks, but the heart is still the same: using our outward behavior as a means of righteousness and peace. If legalism has crept into your pursuit of home management you may find yourself using your cleanliness of house and finishing your to-do list as a source of peace and righteousness (all is right with me because I was able to perform up to my personal standards). Don’t get me wrong, there is very sweet peace that comes from obedience to God in whatever form it takes whether it be folding laundry or reading a book to your toddler. The test generally comes  when you aren’t performing up to your standard. If your house is messy and to-do list incomplete, do you find yourself anxious and angry? When you lay your head on your pillow at night, do you rest in His righteousness alone, or are you factoring in how well you lived up to your own personal performance standards? You can also find legalism lurking behind the guilt and condemnation that keeps us from the hope-filled, godly conviction of sin. We stay living under a cloud of guilt because we just know that we should be performing better.

Whether your house is sparkling clean, or you need a catapult to get you from the front door to the kitchen isn’t necessarily an indication of keeping home to the glory of God. If legalism drives the train, a overly neat house could actually indicate wrong priorities. If the kids watched videos all day, you ignored conflict among the siblings, and are exhausted by the time your husband gets home, chances are your tidy home came at a price that shouldn’t have been paid.  If legalism drives the train, a messy house can cause guilt and condemnation even if it’s messy because you were pursuing right priorities. Some days the house may be less orderly because the children were constantly interrupting, you weren’t feeling well, or maybe you spent the day picking apples or choosing pumpkins with the kids. 

I am aware that this topic is full of land minds for people reading it.  When I taught this last week, people listening got the “full teaching” all at once, not just the step by step I am doing on the blog. Please hang in there. Chances are I will address what you are scratching your head about. Also, leave comments so I can check the barometer with which this is being received. I would love input, and it’s fine if you want to leave it anonymously.

Housework and His Glory

Why do housework? Why take the area of home management seriously? Truly it could be viewed as the ultimate exercise in futility. Everything you do gets undone. And there is never an end in sight. Regardless of how hard you work, there is always something else that can be cleaned, organized, improved. So what is the point?

I found in the early years of staying home that it was difficult to stay motivated properly, and then to stay properly motivated.  Through the example of older women (primarily my mother), exposure to godly teaching, and my own time in God’s Word I have come to the conclusion that housework is to be done for God’s glory. Nothing else will provide proper motivation, and nothing else will keep me motivated.

Here are a few ways home management can be a way to glorify God:

1. We glorify God when we live our lives as an act of worship. Romans 12:2 says, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”  This can include folding laundry, menu planning, etc.  1 Cor. 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God.” Doesn’t this help remove the futility of housework? If we do home management for the glory of God it can be elevated to an act of worship, and thus be very gratifying.

2.  We glorify God when we pursue what the Bible has called us to as women. When we look at the list in Titus 2 of areas we are to be learning as younger women, we see in Titus 2:4 ”and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”  Home management can be an expression of many of these qualities. It can be an act of love to our husbands and children, it can be a result of cultivating self-control, it can be an expression of kindness, and obviously it falls under the category of being a worker at home.

3. Humble servanthood glorifies God.  Few pursuits offer more opportunities to grow in humble servanthood  than home management. I love how C.J. Mahaney says it in his book Humility, True Greatness:

As sinfully and culturally defined, pursuing greatness looks like this: Individuals motivated by self-interest, self-indulgence, and a false sense of self-sufficiency pursue selfish ambition for the purpose of self-glorification. Contrast that with the pursuit of true greatness as biblically defined: serving others for the glory of God. This is the genuine expression of humility; this is true greatness as the Savior defined it. (pg. 44)

4. When we offer our live as spiritual worship, seek to conform to what the Bible has called us to as women, and live our lives as humble servants we are showing forth the power of the gospel at work in our lives. It is impossible for us to do any of these things without the gospel. Jesus’ death on the cross cleanses us from our sins of self-indulgence, rebellion, and pride. And the Holy Spirit that now resides in the heart of every believer helps us to live for God’s glory.  This will happen primarily in the very daily ways we live our lives.

Don’t you love how the gospel shows itself so brightly right in the minutia of everyday life? It is truly amazing. Think about it.