Schedule Summary

I’m wrapping up my scheduling posts today because, well, because I’m tired of writing them, and you’re probably tired of reading them. Here are my concluding thoughts:

1. The schedule has helped make sure certain things happen in the Reyes home that wouldn’t otherwise (okay, I’ll admit, brushing teeth was part of our schedule).
2. The schedule was interrupted, changed, and adjusted every single day. This is fine – no nervous twitches from me.
3. Although there has been more order in my home (primarily due to the fact that I am back on schedule) scheduling wasn’t a magic pill that solved all of my children’s discipline issues…or mine.
4. Having said number three, I am amazed at how much boredom plays a role in the arguing that takes place in our home, and the schedule has helped us here.

I’m not on the smooth path to scheduling by any means. I want to say that this is a new habit for our family, but it is too early to make that conclusion. Maybe in a month I’ll update to say if I’m really still doing this or not.

Thanks for the additional accountability. It was easier to stay on course knowing that I’d be blogging about it at some point! And thank you to anyone who prayed for me, the grace was evident and amazing. Not being one of those orderly, scheduly folks, I can easily attribute any ability to have a schedule to the grace of God alone.

Worship God Conference Anyone?

I was just wondering if any of the gals who read this are going to be at the Worship God conference. Wouldn’t it be great to get together?

Honeymoon Over?

Well, let’s just say that the kids weren’t exactly thanking God for the schedule yesterday. In fact, several times I was met with complaining as I sought to keep us on track. The rain hasn’t helped matters either. In the afternoons they are confined to the house as opposed to pool time or outside time. Though I’m often amazed at how long my kids can keep themselves entertained, this chunk of time just begs to tempt them to boredom (meaning bickering soon to follow). I asked my friend Kathy for any suggestions as to how to fill the time. She reminded me of my own centerpiece idea, doing a craft, writing notes or cards to great grandma who just arrived last week, etc. These are great ideas that I will try to implement. Today we went to my mom’s to visit, then came home and made centerpieces for the dinner table out of clay (including a cake, bounty hunter, soccer goalie picture, and lego house with fan on the back).

I guess it would have been unrealistic to expect my children to perfectly submit to the discipline of a schedule day after day, but even with the resistence I met today, I will say that they responded quickly to my explanation for why we were doing what we were doing. If you are beginning to schedule, or getting back on a schedule like I am – be encouraged that I still say the benefit is outweighing the challenge.

Does anybody have ideas for easy crafts to do with my children? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase leave them in my comment box, I beg you!

We Interrupt This Schedule…

Saturday, a group of men from the church came over to help build our deck. I am overwhelmed at the sacrificial servanthood these men and their wives who released them, displayed. The double blessing was that my boys were able to see biblical manhood in action, not just through daddy, but through a group of other men with skills daddy doesn’t have. How kind of God to provide the church to give more examples of what it means to be a humble servant leader. These guys were amazing with my boys. They let them participate and patiently taught them how to hammer, use cool tools, etc.

This was not on our schedule, but it was on God’s schedule, and I am grateful for His provision of role models through a group of hard working, humble men. Thanks to any of the wives who might be reading this. You are my heroes as well. Releasing your husbands on their day off to build a deck is a huge sacrifice, and one I don’t take lightly. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Schedule Day Four: Exhaustion

Friday’s theme was definitely fatigue. It isn’t that I’m doing anything all that difficult. But in order to keep the kids on a schedule, I have had to get more vigilent with my own schedule (back on track with rising early, getting the housework done as opposed to putting it off like I was before, etc.). So what I’m trying to determine now is if I have been overly ambitious on a few of our days, or if my body is just going through an adjustment period. I’ll know more after next week.

I was so grateful for the final article Carolyn wrote about scheduling. She quotes D.A. Carson

“So many Christians today identify themselves with some ‘single issue’ (a concept drawn from politics) other than the cross, other than the gospel. It is not that they deny the gospel. If pressed, they will emphatically endorse it. But their point of self-identification, the focus of their minds and hearts, what occupies their interest and energy is something else” (The Cross and Christian Ministry, p. 63).”

Sheduling, though it is proving to be a huge blessing, is not my “single issue”, and I pray it doesn’t become such. I hope that though I have spent time blogging about my adventures into schedule world, that I have not in any way made other moms feel badly if they aren’t having a schedule, or feel discouraged because as they’ve implemented their schedule it hasn’t gone as smoothly. Because I am just starting with the schedule, it is requiring a lot of mind-focus and energy, but I anticipate that as it becomes a part of the rhythm of our lives it will be less consuming.

The other part of Carolyn’s final exhortation that was helpful was that a schedule must be implemented humbly. I don’t want to attempt this in my own feeble strength. I can see where in the beginning, I was acutely aware of my need for God’s help to do this. Now, even in just a few days, I find myself praying less and less throughout the day for help and stamina. How kind of God to remind me through Carolyn’s words, that pride is emerging in the form of self sufficiency, and it will lead to a fall. But grace is near as I humbly remain dependent on Him.

Schedule Day Three: Pool Time

On our schedule in the afternoon is a three hour block time to either run errands or go to our community pool, or do both. The pool is a challenge for me because while I’m there I’m tempted to be thinking about other things I could be doing right now that are more “productive”. But I love watching my children enjoy the pool, and one benefit is that it is a block of time when they need little correction, and get along beautifully.

Yesterday, however, I wanted to be more intentional about expressing gratitude for the luxury of having a pool in our community. I am grateful that my boys still want to show off for me. They say, “mom, watch this…” a hundred times, and I love it. I am grateful that my girl is really committed to being a good swimmer. I can’t believe how hard she works to keep up with the brothers. I am really grateful that yesterday, I was able to meet other moms in the neighborhood. In the past weeks the ladies who were there seemed to be hiding in their magazines, I-pods, or naps, but yesterday there were two other twin moms there (one with 2 year olds looking very frazzled) and one with 12 year olds. There was a mom with three sons really close in age, like mine as well. So God provided many inroads for friendships with ladies who are regulars at the pool. Opportunities for the gospel will abound.

So, what does this have to do with my schedule? If there was an area I was tempted to avoid doing, it was this whole pool time. And yet God in His kindness opened my eyes to see that this is about more than providing fun for my children, it is an opportunity to be out in the world among other mothers who may not yet have believed the glorious Gospel of grace. Even my desire to keep a schedule itself must be an outworking of the gospel in my life. By the Holy Spirit’s work, I desire to reflect the image of God as a woman. The way I reflect His image is in being a helper to my husband. It helps him to have order in our home. The schedule is a way to keep things orderly and running smoothly.

It all really does come back to the gospel. The gospel gives me a new heart that is free to serve others, primarily my husband. The schedule is simply a practical way for me to do this. And sharing the gospel with other women is to be part of my life as well…I just didn’t realize how the two (schedule and evangelism) would meet – at the pool.

Schedule Day Two: Tweaking

The theme for today seemed to be that the schedule needs adjusting. For example, today I babysat my niece and nephew as I do every Wednesday. On the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays in the morning we go to playground playgroup. This is the 3rd Wednesday so the kids had a huge block of time that was unscheduled. They play so well together that it’s not a problem, but later in the day we skipped our silent reading because they were enjoying building a tent and making stores in the basement. If I had thought it through better, I could have used part of the morning play time for the reading.

I also think I need to schedule in snack times. No sooner do I begin vacuuming a bedroom when one of the kids comes up asking for a snack. By the fourth interruption, I find myself impatient and angry. When they were little I scheduled mid morning snack and late afternoon snack, but once they became more independent and I could just say, “get a granola bar out of the cabinet,” I stopped scheduling them. This will be an adjustment for my boys in particular. One of them is so skinny I hate to not give him food every time he asks, but I’ll be sure the snack in the afternoon is a big one, and maybe make breakfast and lunch bigger as well.

My husband was helpful when I was explaining to him that though I am getting things done on the schedule, I’m not always doing them at the times allotted. I think it’s important to stick to the times pretty strictly at first, in order to create a “rut” of habit for the wagon of childhood to roll smoothly in (thank you Charlotte Mason). He said the schedule is supposed to serve you, not you serve the schedule. So, I am still enjoying the schedule and being able to direct the kids as to what is next, but I am seeking wisdom for where to put a few things on days that don’t follow a normal routine, as well as being sure the daily routine stuff is in the right place at the right time.

Well, I gotta go…6 minutes til bath/shower time begins. If they go to the pool, do I really have to give them a bath? I’m thinkin’ chlorine pretty much takes care of it, don’t you?

Schedule Day One: Unexpected Honeymoon Phase

I fully anticipated today would be our “baptism of fire” in getting into a routine. After all, school is over, and due to putting together a garage sale one week, and my back and shoulder pain the next (thanks to said garage sale) we just came off of two weeks of unlimited play time, more videos than usual, and lower standards for orderliness.

Today, however, was not filled with complaints and resistance by the kids. In fact, I am happy to report that they were excited to have a special summer schedule. This never happens to me. I am the one who reads the article written by the mother extraordinaire, think to myself, “hey – that sounds great! I am going to do that!” And then, somewhere between that thought and the execution of that thought I find myself experiencing something so different from what was described in the innocent article. Perhaps it’s the cynic in me, and perhaps its past experience that makes me think of today as a sort of “honeymoon” period. I mean, really, in a brief discussion during dinner of things we were grateful for today one of my children actually said, “I’m grateful for our new schedule!”

Okay, It’s only fair to admit that today’s schedule just happens to be the one day of the week that is particularly kid-centered. We went to a free movie at our local cinema, did the dollar menu with friends at McDonalds afterward, hit the pool, and finished the day with going to daddy’s softball game (at Beachmont Christian Camp –a.k.a. little boy heaven). This is an unusually “fun-filled” day, so of course they loved it. But still, they worked on their math facts, did their reading, and even helped with some of my housework.

I think my experience tomorrow is going to give us all a better idea of what this whole scheduled life is like. But if it encourages any of you out there to jump in and try, I want you to know that the Girls are right, kids really do thrive on order and routine.

What about me? The kids did great, but what about the Mom? Actually, all of my feelings were inclined toward getting some sense of order back in the home – so this helped. As I said before, my two anticipated weaknesses are that when I don’t feel like doing something on the schedule, it will be harder to implement. The area of legalism is also a concern. Today I believe I am truly considering it all grace that things went so well. There was, however, one point during the day when I sinned against one of my children (not schedule related), and detected that my heart felt less guilt than usual and deceitfully reminded me that “at least I have kept my schedule”. In a subtle way, I was using my good work as some sort of conscience anesthetic. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit immediately stopped me in my tracks and I was able to recognize the pride and legalism, confess it, and receive forgiveness.

So I end this day full of gratitude for God’s kindness to me and my family in helping us be happy in following a schedule. I am grateful for so many fun things that happened today as well. And most of all I end this day aware that God receives all of the glory for any success we had.

Until tomorrow….

A Brave Blog Week

When the Girls Talk, I listen. And the routine talk resonated with me because even before the first outstanding article Nicole wrote on the topic, I was beginning to see the need for the day to be better scheduled especially in light of school being over.

I am going to do something brave this week. I am going to try to blog about my journey in implementing the Reyes Family Schedule. Why is this brave? Well, it’s brave because I’m determined to be honest about the process which for me and my children is going to be challenging. I decided to this for two reasons: first, for a bit of added accountability. My mom and a friend of mine named Kathy (extremely organized kind of gal) are my real life accountability partners here, but I can’t help but think that if I’m going to have to write a little something at the end of the day for my bloggin’ buddies to read there will be additional incentive to stick to the schedule. Second, I think it might help some others who are interested in the suggestion to schedule their children’s lives. Something about hearing another person trying, failing, and trying again helps. And third, I’m in need of a little inspiration for writing lately…this will provide plenty – perhaps more than you’re willing to read !

Mondays are my husband’s day off, so the schedule will begin tomorrow. I am making a few adjustments to it today, thanks to Kathy’s helpful questions. The primary challenges I anticipate encountering will be my “feelings”. If I don’t “feel” like doing the schedule, or if I don’t “feel” like tackling the potential discipline issues that will come up this first week, it will be hard for me to overcome those feelings or lack thereof and actually do what I planned. I also know my tendencies toward legalism and believe that I could turn this blessing of a schedule into a means for self-righteousness, or condemnation.

This morning in Charles Spurgeon’s devotional, Morning and Evening, I was kindly reminded by God that the source for living a life that honors and glorifies Him is always the Holy Spirit.

“Rich were the blessings of this day if all of us were filled with the Holy Ghost. The consequences of this sacred filling of the soul it would be impossible to overestimate. Life, comfort, light, purity, power, peace; and many other precious blessings are inseparable from the Spirit’s benign presence. As sacred oil, He anoints the head of the believer, sets him apart to the priesthood of saints, and gives him grace to execute his office aright. As the only truly purifying water He cleanses us from the power of sin and sanctifies us unto holiness, working in us to will and to do of the Lord’s good pleasure.”

So today, as I prepare to put my schedule into practice, I pray that the Holy Spirit would “anoint” my head and give me the “grace to execute [my] office aright.” I pray I would be dependent on Him (not my ability to implement a schedule) for purifying, sanctifying, and working in me to will and to do His good pleasure.

Quotable Kiddos: Cleaning

We were walking by an arcade in the mall and Caleb saw a lady with a feather duster cleaning one of the games and he said with great enthusiasm, “look mom, a cleaning game!” The funny thing is that he thought I’d just love playing something like that.

We were listening to a Sovereign Grace worship cd in the car and one of the vocalists does a worshipful embellishment singing, “He washes me clean” referring to Jesus. Maggie said after hearing the line, “He watches me clean?” I thought to myself, “well, yeah, that too.”